piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
