the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
