is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
