i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
