hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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