So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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