That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
