either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
