therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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