Are we in a gay sports bar?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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