she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
