we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize