my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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