Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
