Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
