I'm drive I can fine osifer
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
