did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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