So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
