I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
