so that wasnt chicken after all
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
