u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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