youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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