drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
