where does the pee come out of this thing
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
