Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
