I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
