id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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