I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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