do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
