dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
