clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
