I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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