what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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