Your face is a jimmy john
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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