This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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