Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
