Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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