thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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