She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize