have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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