So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
