**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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