i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's just like the Real World with babies
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
