you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
