You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
