There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
