final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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