Sponge bath it is.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
