I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize