Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
