she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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