Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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