I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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