everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize