Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
