ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
