i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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