How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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