and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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