you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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