C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
