I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i think my cat just said my name.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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