I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
