We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
