She is in my trunk
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
