don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
