and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
